CBD...
Anxiety and I are like two peas in a pod. I've had it for as long as I can remember. When I think back to times in my life it started as early as first or second grade. It wasn’t like this, but I did get stomach aches and I would have to go to the bathroom a lot. As a little person, going potty often was pretty embarrassing.
In my life today anxiety feels different at different times. It will feel like my mind is racing and I cant concentrate on one task. It can feel like hunger! More snacky. I could snack all day when I'm slightly anxious. It can also feel like a sore neck and shoulders. And when it gets more intense it can transform into a headache more like an eye ache behind my left eye. Clogged ears, and dizziness. I know that sounds weird, but I've had my ears checked, and nothing was wrong. I've also tried to see if it happens in stressful situations and it does! The clogged ears are really only during stress or anxious moments. SHINGLES! Yup, the shingles virus on my face.
I also feel it in my throat. This is the most obvious and the most annoying. Let me try and explain this. My throat feels tight, yet juicy? Like I'm going to barf but not. Its also the feeling, do you know right after you barf your throat is kind of sore and still throbbing? I don’t know if I'm making sense but that’s the best explanation that I have. It’s a little bit of both.
In therapy I tried to do EMDR on my throat and it was so weird. It’s a different experience with a particular body part. You focus solely on that body part and whatever comes up, whether a memory or not, you just go with it. I eventually envisioned my throat and I was inside of it and it looked like a bath drain. It had a drain stopper on top of it, and I tried to open the drain. When I did, my body immediately reacted. I felt like my legs needed to run. My calves got really tight and my legs started twitching. It was weird. As much as I tried to "open" it, the drain stopper would slam shut. I felt like I was trying to pry my fingers underneath the ledge and nothing. So I gave up and just let it be. When talking about this to my therapist it was hard for us to figure out what it meant.
I have tried so many things to try and alleviate these symptoms of anxiety. I go to Kinfolk, my chiropractor because of their focus on the nervous system. I've done breath work and meditation which helps but it would soothe just for a moment. Then the anxiety and the feelings would come right back. That's when I came to the realization that clearly my body cannot forget these feelings. So it was time to bring in the big guns. I tried CBD.
I did my research on the pros and cons and read why people view it as snake oil. The benefits of gummies to oil, topical creams etc. The list of ailments that it can alleviate are LONG! But from what I remember in anatomy, our nervous system has a threshold of what it can tolerate. When we can no longer tolerate it, our body sends out a stress response saying there's something wrong. That response can feel like what I described or to what your body decides to do. That is the thing about stress, it manifests differently in everyone. If you have other issues like autoimmune it can manifest in relation to that.
When we consume CBD that threshold is increased. Apparently. I don’t really know. That’s what it does for me. At first when I took it, I thought, ok I'm not going to expect anything it is what it is. My hesitation has come from years of weird reactions to medications. People say meds are non-drowsy but they make me drowsy. Stuff like that.
So after a couple days of taking it, that edge that I've always been running on was gone. Not completely but enough that I noticed my throat feeling was gone. I was still aware, but more focused when it should have been a triggering moment. I didn’t feel like my mind was racing, or the normal body reactions that I would get were gone. So I tested it out. I stopped taking it for about 4 days, and sure enough, slowly, those feelings would come back. The most noticeable was the throat thing. It came back!
That was a sign to me, that this was working. My body is responding well to the CBD so I will keep using it. I don’t need it everyday, but I do use it right before something that has triggering potential like a test in school, a big social event, meeting new people, being with my family. I've learned enough about myself to know when I need extra help. I also have gummies that I eat when I need immediate relief, like within a few minutes. The oil I take is more of a slow burn, overtime the stress alleviates, and it lasts all day. I also take the oil, to take after a stressful situation.
The comedown from anxiety can be just as debilitating, and can feel very similar but coupled with fatigue. Its really fun! Just because my body feels tired doesn’t necessarily mean my mind can rest. CBD has helped me rest my mind. Which anyone with anxiety can probably relate too. The mind game that comes with anxiety is unreal and definitely the worst of the worst
So far everything is going well, and with that a sense of freedom. I used to think I could handle anxiety on my own, but clearly I was wrong. After 30 years of trying to do this myself I humbled myself and admitted I could not. And I'm glad I came to that conclusion. The relief and freedom that I've been able to feel is worth it. There are things that I haven't been able to do because the symptoms of anxiety would stop me in my tracks.
I'm definitely not cured or that this is the answer for everyone. This is my experience and what I've been able to overcome and accomplish because of it. I don’t know what products are the best, but I did do my research. The company I chose, had a third party lab testing results. If you do decide this is something you want to do, I would say do your research. It can be expensive but the price shouldn’t feel like you are breaking the bank. If its really inexpensive be wary, if its over the top expensive also be wary. High price does not necessarily mean better product.
Find what works for you, because we are all unique. Our bodies are different and how we react to stress is different. If I could give you a few tips to deal with anxiety.
Get help. The constant worrying, headaches, upset stomach is not normal and it does not need to be your normal. Find a therapist to help understand what is triggering you.
Work on recognizing a trigger, when it starts and how it manifests. If I have pain I like to face it head on so I will do a type of immersion challenge to understand me. Its scary and hard to focus in the moment but worth it.
Do you research. CBD is a supplement to everything else that I'm doing. Meditation, seeing a chiropractor that does tonal adjustments, seeing a therapist, EMDR, breath work, yoga, creating relationships that help my anxiety. CBD was not a quick fix but more of an addition to help further the things I was already doing.
Acceptance. Learning to work with my anxiety instead of fighting it has been a game changer. It has not gone away and it probably never will but it has brought me more in tune to myself. I can notice my visceral reactions usually before my mind knows what it going on.
This has taken time to learn and to find what works for me. What works for you may be different and that is ok. The point is to find relief for you. There is relief and if you are looking for a holistic approach, open your mind to CBD. For me, there is no moral questioning because it really doesn’t get more natural than a plant. I also don’t put something in my body without learning about it first. Especially medications or supplements.
Please remember that CBD is not regulated by the FDA, and there are some shady people out there. If you want to do research don’t look to blogs, articles in magazines without resources or other non-credible sources.
Your mental health is important. I was ready to take mine seriously.